I made the mistake of asking Mick Hennessy what he thinks about festivals. What followed was a forty-five minute monologue that I will now summarise for your entertainment.
On festivals in general: "They were better in the eighties. Everything was better in the eighties. You could camp wherever you wanted. Nobody was selling you a fifteen euro burrito. You brought sandwiches and a flask. That was the system. The system worked."
On the toilets: "The toilets have gotten worse. I don't know how that's possible because they were terrible in 1986, but they've managed it. It's actually impressive how bad they are now. It's an achievement."
On the music: "The music is the same. That's the thing about trad — you can't ruin it. Some young lad with a laptop can't remix a reel. It is what it is. A fiddle sounds the same in a field as it does in a pub. That's why it works."
On Electric Picnic specifically: "It's not terrible." (This is the highest praise Mick has ever given anything outside of a pint of Guinness in Cruise's.)
On me doing a talk: "God help us all." (Thanks, Mick.)
On whether he'll come: "I suppose I'll come. Someone has to make sure you don't make a complete eejit of yourself. And the fiddle won't play itself." (This is Mick confirming he's coming to Electric Picnic. I'm trying not to make a big deal of it because he'll change his mind.)
On the idea of playing The Rattlin' Bog in front of thousands: "It's the same song whether there's five people or five thousand. You start slow, you build, you hit the flea verse, you finish. I've done it a thousand times. The only difference is the toilets will be worse."
He circled back to the toilets three more times after that. The man has FEELINGS about festival sanitation.
I should note that despite all the grumbling, Mick has been quietly practising every evening. His neighbour told me. He's working on a new arrangement of the song — fiddle with some ornamental bits he's been adding. He won't admit it, but he's excited. I've known this man for twenty-five years. He's excited.
Don't tell him I said that.
Slan go foill, BogLord2002